MARRIAGE

When we were married I chose to set you free,
I saw an individual who was in love with me,
My love for you was vibrant and very much alive,
And in our relationship I've never had to strive,

Freedom was given you to come and go my love,
To be your own person, flying like a dove,
The woman I fell in love with had so much appeal,
I cherished you my darling, my feelings so very real.

But now things have changed, I have a different view,
The meaning of the word love is altogether new,
I am rediscovering what love is all about,
You have enlarged my heart, of that there is no doubt.

I love you with all my heart, completely and so true,
Praising God every day for uniting me and you,
You are a free person with your own mind and will,
And I am so thankful that you choose to love me still.

Just a thought.......... If you want to be loved, be loveable! :)

Marriage, blessing or not?

Marriage is a beautiful way to totally include the one you love in your life in every way, but it also allows you to be included in their life in every way. Because people are different and have different ideals, standards, interests and perceptions, it is not hard to imagine that there would be some difficulties along the way. True to form, God has set out a blueprint for marriage that will lead to success in this very complex relationship. Even marriages that are going through hard times can be set right using God's blueprint, although it's best to apply the blueprint before things get out of hand.

It's always easier to see things in hindsight and I have learned much from a failed marriage and the lessons I have learned I am now applying to my current marriage with great success. One of the things I have learned is that divorce is definitely not a good option. It destroys lives, especially those of the children involved, no matter how old they are. I don't think the destruction caused by divorce ever goes away.

Individuals

It is important to recognise each other's individuality. The best thing you can do for your spouse is to give them the freedom to be themselves. By doing this you enhance their beauty and they will love you all the more for it. Give your spouse the opportunity to have their own life. Because they love you their own life will include you and your relationship will be all the richer for it. Two individuals who are free will enjoy love as only those who are free can. This love is what will bond the two together.

The moment you try to control or manipulate your spouse, or make them "submit", you are killing any opportunity for love to flourish.

Divorce

Scripture tell us that
Mat 19:8 He said to them, Because of your hard-heartedness Moses allowed you to put away your wives; but from the beginning it was not so. 
I know that things can get pretty tough when things go wrong in a relationship, but Jesus said that divorce was allowed because of our hard heartedness. Can I suggest that if a marriage is not as good as it should be, then both should search their hearts before God to see if there is any hard heartedness there. Things like unforgiveness can be very destructive.

For the sake of this exercise, let us rule out divorce as a bad option and look to what a marriage could be with God's blueprint applied. I know that God is well able to restore any marriage. 

The Blueprint

God's blueprint for marriage is often misunderstood and has been the cause of much hardship in marriages. Can you imagine being in a relationship where the woman is commanded to obey and submit to the husband, no matter what? Or what about when the wife remembers everything that the husband has ever done wrong? It was NEVER meant to be this way! God knows that men and women are different. He created us that way and He also made a way for us to be able to enjoy our differences. When understood, God's blueprint makes for a vibrant and harmonious relationship that is fulfilling and uplifting for both people.

Become part of the answer

Whenever we are faced with problems, especially with other people, we can choose to become part of the problem by condemming them, or part of the answer by praying for them and working alongside them to overcome the problem. Most people who are faced with a problem area in their lives will welcome the opportunity and support to overcome the problem.

In order to do justice to God's blueprint for marriage, we need to split this into two sections. One for men, the other for women. 

For men and for women

The best way to change your husband/wife, is to change yourself and become the person who blesses them and gives your best to them no matter what. Good breeds good and bitterness breeds bitterness, but one person choosing to change can change things for both. Give the hurts and disappointments to God and continue to pray. Never give up hope.

God bless.